Longest Wait of My Life (Or, "Four More Sleeps, Mia.")

Those who know me in real life know that patience isn’t my strong suit. Ever. I usually get impatient over things that are negative; that I just want to finish, to be done with. This time it’s entirely a different ball game. This time, I am literally bursting at the seams knowing that I am FOUR sleeps (or 3 3/4 days) away from seeing the dashing and incredibly sexy Mr. Vega. This is the beginning of something bigger than either one of us previously could have fathomed; our life together starts when he is safely landed in the 506, and I am once again where I belong, wrapped up in his arms. This has been the longest day of my life so far, and the seconds are literally dragging along as I await this next volume of my life to start. The infinite amounts of possibility and adventure and overwhelming good that are ahead of Vega and I just makes me smile uncontrollably. The flip side of the coin is this 3.75 day wait ahead of us still…good things come to those who wait though, and he’s worth waiting for folks. He’s the one for me, and I’ll walk through fire on my damn hands if I have to.

I’m trying my best to keep myself busy and active until he arrives, and yesterday and today were both successes as such. Yesterday was totally self-indulgent; stayed in bed from the time I rolled over at noon until 3:30 reading “The Time Traveler’s Wife” (lovely read), then came downstairs, made coffee, dealt with my mother being her usual vindictive bitch of a pain in my ass, drank coffee, then got ready for a workout. I was somewhat drag-assy about getting ready because my ma’ had gotten under my skin (as much as it pains me to admit), but Sarge totally surprised me with a beautiful bouquet of flowers (what a fucking amazing best friend, seriously) and a huge hug, and I went downstairs with fire in my eyes and ass-kickery to be had. I amazed myself with leg day (HIIT 45 minute circuit from hell and some shadowboxing and speedrope and stretching), then came upstairs and enjoyed a delectable paleo-friendly salad Sarge made for me, then showered and watched The Walking Dead and skyped the Vega. After he hung up (heart fucking wrenching watching that screen go blank, I tells ya), I watched a documentary on capitalism and passed the fuck out reading Shakespeare. Lovely end to a lazy (well. lazy despite the hellish workout) day.

Today I slept in much much longer than I intended (one of those roll over and realize it’s 3:30 in the afternoon already kind of days), so I peeled my ass out of bed (DOMS DOMS DOMS DOMS DOMS… ARRRRRRRRGH SO MUCH DOMS), made my way downstairs, and promptly hoovered a pot of coffee. When I finally felt the joys of caffeine kicking in, I got geared up in my workout togs and headed down to the Pit for back day. I HATE BACK DAY. It always makes me feel weaksauce, especially since I broke them ribs of mine a few years back. I’ve been slowly but surely chipping away at it though, and I’m actually starting to see a difference. Today’s circuit still kicked my ass, BUT I upped my weights and felt pretty fabulous about it. Added a glute HIIT circuit for good measure, and some ab work, and speedrope, and stretching, and then I was spent as hell and done for the day (soaked in sweat and loving it. The best workouts are the beast-mode ones). Came upstairs, hoovered a meal, and showered. I’ve been on the couch icing my knee (old MCL injury has been haunting me) and watching TV and drinking tea and smoking copious amounts of cigarettes during commercials whilst texting my Vega ever since. Again, self-indulgent Mia time. Necessary.

The thing that’s wearing on me the most right now is having to watch Boo and Sarge being all cute right now whilst I am trying my best to not dwell on the fact that Vega and I still have a few days and a few thousand kilometers separating us (funny random happenstance being that poor Vega is dealing with the same on his end; Beta has found herself a gent (ironically, from Oromocto…) and they’re being all adorable in front of him too. The universe has a horribly mean sense of humor). I am elated for Sarge and Boo; it just kind of makes this whole waiting game extra difficult when they turn up the adorable as much as they have this close to Vega’s visit. All I’m saying is, Mia’s been in a dry spell since her awkward Sarge quickie more than a month ago, and Sarge and Boo will be in for a treat (or a terrible form of loud-ass retribution, depending on perspective) come this weekend. And I am more than looking forward to it.

I’ve also been somewhat grappling with feeling like I’m talking to myself a lot these days. One of my biggest pet peeves in life is being asked a question, and not having my answer heard. I’d rather not be asked, than be asked out of… I don’t even know. When I talk to people and when I am spoken to, I truly do listen to what is being said so that I can reply thoughtfully. Conversation means a lot to me; and it’s something I don’t understand, being so busy in your own mind that you can tune out the words of the ones who are important to you. I could have used some conversation the past few days, and I’m getting really tired of hearing my own words not even acknowledged by the ones who are asking for my $0.02. The art of listening is apparently being lost, and it’s a pity–people have some unbelievably interesting points to make, but you have to be able to hear them for them to be anything worth your while. It’s a double edged sword, being regarded as the “good listener,” especially when no one wants to listen to you…

Maybe it’s legitimately just too much to ask of people. Maybe I am just weird for being fascinated by others? Either way, I’m grateful for this blog; even if I’m technically writing to myself, others take the time to read it, and when I get thoughtful comments, I feel heard and that satisfies me. For the most part.

My mind is still racing a hundred places a second, but every moment that goes by means that my Vega is a moment closer to being here with me; and I am ass-deep in conversation with him right now, and thereby going to call this a post. Tomorrow should be a slightly less ridiculous sleep-in day, and I’ll make a point to write something worth your time reading, dear readers. I’ve been kind of slacking ass on the worth-your-time-reading front lately, and for that, I do apologize.

For now,

Wallace, out.